Moving back to the UK next year and the TV network have planned at least 200 reality TV shows for 2005. How exciting :o(

CEO gets fired with a payoff of $1.3million ... per year ... for life.

A weird little app which has taken up far too much of my time - pretty damn cool.

This is very, very clever. It's a 1.5 MB video clip well worth downloading.

I've now uploaded a video clip from the Tenacious D concert in Auckland which can be accessed from the gallery. I've also uploaded some other clips which may be of interest to a few people. (Some of these are quite large so be careful if you're only on a modem connection)

bikespeed (4.2MB) - a camera mounted on a bike being driven way too fast
bike jump (2MB) - a comedy bike clip (well worth watching)
le tallec (8.5MB) - a video showcasing the talents of young Le Tallec (first posted when I was under the illusion that he alone was the answer to Liverpool's woes)
aussie haka (600KB) - the aussies take the piss out of the Kiwi haka
kill bill (2.3MB) - Ghyslian Raza, the Star Wars kid, returns in this excellent mock up of the Kill Bill trailer.
afroninja (2.5MB) - This just makes me laugh over and over again - watch as AfroNinja auditions for a part in a new movie.
lambo (14MB) - watch Jeremy Clarkson poo his pants as the lambourghini test driver takes him on a spin around the track

I finally managed to post some photos from the past few months. There are some general shots around wellington, some pictures from a couple of our walks and a few from Lolly's 'Wellywood' Christmas party. I've also posted some very recent (yesterday) photos from a day out in beautiful Takapuna and one of the funniest nights I've enjoyed at the Tenacious D concert in Auckland. All these can be accessed through the gallery.

Earbags have become the latest cold weather fashion accessory and a sell-out success this Xmas.
The bags look like earmuffs without the band.
They use a ring system which clicks them into place so they stay put on ears all day without messing up the hairstyle.
They're available in fleece, soft leather and a leopard skin print ...... could have made an ideal Christmas present ...... now who do I know that likes leopard skin?

As a lot of my job revolves around hacking into other people's systems, sites like this are like gold dust to me. A huge list of systems and their default (factory) usernames and passwords. It'll probably be of very little interest to anyone but me but I'm putting the link here for safe keeping. Oh, and if anyone has any of the systems mentioned, it may be an idea to check that the passwords have been changed.

Good on ye guys! Rockstar games take every game they make which has reached 'classic status' and add it to their site for free download. Currently, the games include Grand Theft Auto 1 and 2 and also Wild Metal. Download them, guilt free here.

At last, someone brings out a diet that I can deal with. Eat dark chocolate and almonds and drink booze. The Polymeal diet can reduce the chance of heart disease by 72% (apparently)

before Christmas and its a good one. Spent the morning having a long breakfast and then sauntered through town looking in the shops. Made it into work at 10am for a champagne breakfast and in half an hour, the company are taking us all to the beach for the day. It's so hot outside - I'm barely recovered from my last sunburn. Happy Christmas everyone!

1. Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.

2. Native Americans do not have to pay tax on their land.

3. Linen is actually stronger when wet.

4. A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.

5. Most cell phone antennas have no purpose other than to make people believe that flipping up a 2 inch antenna just gave them better reception. They are not connected to any circuitry.

Congratulations to Achilles and the rest of Ghostplane who have been selected to support Anika Moa on her next NZ tour.

.... build a jet powered toilet :o)

Does this remind anyone else of the rhyme "I swallowed a spider to catch the fly ..." :o)

Why do maths geeks always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?

Since Oct 31 is Dec 25

When contact lenses or laser surgery isn't an option - maybe piercing the top of your nose and attaching eyeglasses is the answer. Ouch!

I know that you all mean well but please do not send me ANY mail which includes the line

SEND THIS TO A MINIMUM OF XX PEOPLE WITHIN AN HOUR OF READING THIS.

... even if it is followed by the not entirely convincing

IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE. IF YOU FAIL TO, IT WILL BECOME THE OPPOSITE

I have received 6 of these emails in my inbox this morning. I'm not sending any of these chain letters on which means that I am

(i) not going to be receiving a free case of champagne
(ii) not going to have my dreams come true
(iii) not going to have my wishes come true
(iv) not going to be given free money by Microsoft
(v) not going to live a long and fruitful life (a personal fave)
(vi) not going to help in the recovery of a young female cancer patient

This may seem very harsh of me ... downright cruel in the case of (vi) to be honest but these are spam mail. These are the worst kind of spam mail - mail sent by people I actually know. Each one of them requests me to forward a mail to between 3 and 15 people otherwise I will have any number of bad things happen to me. I don't like being threatened, even by an email. If you ever receive any of these mails yourself, please stop before forwarding on to me and visit a site such as "chain letters anonymous"

You receive an e-mail chain letter, and you know you shouldn't forward it to ten of your friends: they'll curse your name for clogging up their mailboxes and for wasting Internet bandwidth. But you don't want the bad karma that they say comes from breaking the chain...
At Chain Letters Anonymous, we understand the anxiety of breaking the chain. We want to help you overcome "forward-button addiction" and the superstitious intoxication that brings computer networks to a crawl.
Not everyone has the strength to quit cold turkey, and we fully understand. To help you gradually stop sending chain letters, volunteers at Chain Letters Anonymous are available 24-hours a day in case you "fall off the inbox" and really, really need to send a chain letter to ten of your friends.
But if you don't get help from us, please, please, do not send that chain letter to anyone else.

STOP WEARING MY CLOTHES AND SHOES!

I have been hearing from SEVERAL people that they have seen some of my clothes around town and have on occasions thought that it was me and I was home without telling them!!!!!! So Cheryl and Sarah - STOP wearing my clothes and shoes, please girls - honestly from one girl to another you know what it is like so please give it a rest.

3 things . . .

1. Cheryl - I am willing to talk to you about a lending of a certain black dress for 1 evening.

2. Never wear my DUFFER jumper to clean your car again or any other house hold duties should Mum be that lucky.

3. Sarah start acting like my silver shoes do not exist - cos when I get home they wont!

And girls remember who is choosing your bridemaids dresses !!!!!!!!!! :o)

The Greatest Band On Earth are back! For the first time since 2002 TENACIOUS D are back on tour and heading to New Zealand for shows in Auckland and Wellington.
According to Rolling Stone, "Tenacious D are more than rock stars, much more: They're the Thor and Zeus of a new rock religion, prophets of blood and honour, overlords from the land of the ice and snow. They ask no quarter. They give no quarter. They are the D."
Actors turned rockers Jack Black and Kyle Gass exploded onto the mainstream music scene in 2002 with their single Tribute. The single achieved platinum sales in Australia while the self titled debut album sold over 1 million copies worldwide. Their DVD "The Complete Masterworks" has sold 5 x platinum in the US and platinum in the UK.
Entertainment Weekly declared; "they're profane, bursting with rage and lust, and they deliver more laughs than anyone since Richard Pryor," and audiences concur, with the proof of their popularity substantiated by their latest DVD The Complete Masterworks. Witness a 4,700-strong audience singing in harmony at their concert at Brixton Academy in London and you begin to grasp just how relevant this band is to their fans.
Heading to our shores this December Jack Black and Kyle Gass will perform in the usually concert-barren period between Christmas and New Year. So if you're bored stiff hanging out with the relatives these Christmas holidays, then The Frontier Touring Company are giving you the perfect excuse to get out of the house!

Hey all, yes I know it has been a while but it has been a busy few months and I would like to apologise and I will promise never to leave it that long again

New Zealand is still great and we are really enjoying it especially as it is summer at the moment. It is only just the start and we are already walking to work most days without a coat!! Chris and I are quite lucky as we will be going from summer to summer – NZ to UK – it could be worse. Well work is has been the usual and nothing to report. I am really looking forward to leaving PwC next year – I think I would have to think twice about working for such a large company again. The thing I am looking forward to the most is going back to College – I have put a lot of time and thought in to what it is I am going to do and I feel as though I have been waiting for ages! I say this all now but will probably moan like anything when I am a student again – sorry Chris. I am hoping that I will be able to work part time, maybe for the 2nd year anyway.

Christmas is approaching so fast and we are off to stay with our good friends Ben & Joey in Auckland for Christmas day and New Year. We have been looking forward to it for a while now and we are counting down the days (of which there are 8 working ones left). December has just not been the same without an advent calendar. While we are in Auckland for Christmas and New Year we are hoping to catch up with some friends – Scottie, Brad, Debs and Kylie. We are also off on the 28th to see TENACIOUS D – Chris and I are really looking forward to it and treating ourselves a lot considering we fly out of Auckland to Vanuatu on the 1st January – 2 weeks of the hot sun, diving (possibly for me), gorgeous beaches and laying around RELAXING !! I welcome the 1st January. Chris and I have made a lot of plans for our stay and no doubt one of us will blog on our return with stories, news and of course some photos.

So all in all – all's well :o) This is my 2nd Christmas away from home and I can still not get used to it being hot at Christmas !!!!! BBQs just do not seem right this time of year. Anyway, I will blog before the New Year but for now MERRY CHRISTMAS & ALL THE BEST FOR 2005.

Lolly x

Here's a site for the many teachers I know. It's a resource site.. It may be useful but it may be an American site .....ie English teaches either International English or American English?, Geography teaches about the great continent of North America and its offshore islands ie Asia, Europe etc. History teaches about how America won the Vietnam war. It may even explain how an attack by Osama Bin Laden from Afghanistan meant the necessity to invade Iraq ... but I doubt it. I think that's covered in mathematics ... if country A has an active enemy but no money and country B has no active enemy but bundles of oil money, which should corrupt country C invade.

Itchy Squirrel advises:
"Here’s a handy trick. Feel the depth of the dimple at the bottom of it. The more expensive the bottle, the deeper its dimple will tend to be."
See the proof here.

Taken from Knobby ...

The British no longer wants America. We do not wish to drop our average I. Q. To allow distinction between Britain and America the following will be implemented.

1. The English language is English as the name English suggests; new dialects made from the non-English are to be banned. The English decide how the English language is to be spoken. As none of you know how to speak English, we think the best idea would be for you to make up your own language, you’ve nearly done so already. It’ll be easier than learning correct English. We advise that the creation of the new language “American” should be left to the few of you with I.Q.s larger than 60. English will now be studied as a foreign language at all stages of education; you may just learn it that way. Your country does not have a higher number of English speakers, what you speak is not English. There is no such nationality as Scotch; it is Scottish. DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW WE DEPICT YOU WHEN YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE’RE CALLED.

2. Hollywood is to acknowledge what really happened in all war films. You did not have the “U-571” mission. That was the British. We Were Soldiers is to have a new ending. You did not win Vietnam; the film should show this. Hollywood is to create 10 films of what America did wrong in wartime, we all make mistakes, no wonder you are all bigheaded.

3. Sports are from now on allowed no padding. We can cope without it, you will be surprised to find that no other country does this and it is not necessary. We created the first football, so we decide what is football. Your sport football is now called American Women’s Rugby. Basketball will be called Men’s Netball. You have realised that less padding is better, bouncing the ball will not be allowed. In Hockey only the goalkeeper will wear pads, and you are only allowed to hit with one side of the stick. Cricket will be taught from an early age, while the adults can’t understand, the children might still develop an I.Q.

4. Star Spangled Banner, is now to be used as the theme tune for Sesame Street. The existing one is a little too intelligent for American children. As for the adults, the Sesame Street theme tune is on the same level as your intellectual abilities and is now your National Anthem. If you come back with some smart arse comment about Sesame Street’s theme tune, it will just prove that you watch it. Think carefully.

5. Teletubbies was intended for child’s television. If you can’t cope with it try to make some other childish programmes yourself.

6. Adverts can only be shown twice every 30 minutes on television. TV is for programmes not advertising. Shopping channels will be merged with ordinary stations; this will reduce your advertising, and will reduce the cost of your cable bill.

7. Again, we made beer, so we decide what it is. Budweiser is not beer; beer tastes good.

8. In the next U.S election you will vote for someone that has the mental age of at least 12. It’s not much, but improvements should be gradual. If you elect someone with a mental age of more than 18, each of those that voted for this person will be presented with a certificate of sanity and mediocre intelligence.

9. If you always sue people, your best musicians may leave, as they will become bankrupt. Michael Jackson, and Eminem is evidence that all your successful people just get sued all the time. With this it is no surprise that no-one has an I.Q. of above 60, as the ones that do have to give their money to those that don’t

10. You are not Irish. The real Irish get pissed off when you claim that you are once a year. If you insist on this habit, you may become part of Ireland, but that will mean that you have to learn English, rather than create American (see clause 1).

11. We don’t have handguns; our guns are used for hunting animals not people. You should adapt to do likewise. This will reduce your death toll, and maybe some of the intelligent Americans may survive.

Thank you for your co-operation. We believe if you do the following, your average I.Q. may rise by 50%. You may now continue watching Teletubbies.

Vanuatu is a "Y"-shaped chain of 83 islands lying 2500km northeast of Sydney (Australia), 2000km north of Auckland (New Zealand), and 800km west of Nadi (Fiji). The total land mass is around 13,000 sq. km. The islands range in topography from towering volcanic cones to others covered in dense rainforest to yet others which are raised coral islands with wide beaches and deep natural harbours.
The people of Vanuatu, a name which means 'Land Eternal', are predominantly Melanesian.
The Ni Vanuatu have populated these islands for centuries and with more than 115 distinctly different cultures and languages still thriving here, Vanuatu is recognised as one of the most culturally diverse countries in the world. There are small communities of French, British, Australian, New Zealand, Vietnamese, Chinese and other Pacific Islands people living in harmony with the Ni Vanuatu. Until 1980 Vanuatu, then known as the New Hebrides, was jointly administered by France and Great Britain as a 'Condominium'.

In Holland we brew the Grolsch slowly and then we drive it to the port way way too fast. Beer worth thousands of pounds blocks a highway after a lorry driver failed to heed the advice in Grolsch’s own TV ads . . . to SHHTOP!
Luckily he did at least slow down as he swerved to avoid another truck. His cargo ended up scattered in the road at Overijssel, The Netherlands — but both truckers were unhurt. Free beer ... woohoo !

Speaking of Grolsch - they've got a competition on their site here and there are two rounds so far, 'General Knowledge' and 'Sport'. The questions aren't too hard and it's against the clock - pretty good fun if you've got a few minutes to spare. My best on the sport round is 1320, best on General Knowledge 1408. Go on, have a go.

French gendarmes thought it would be a good idea to hide some plastic explosives in an unsuspecting passenger's suitcase as part of an exercise to train bomb-sniffing dogs. Then they lost the suitcase they had put it in. D'oh! Someone in France (assuming that they have not caught one of the 90 planes which left soon after) is carrying plastic explosives the size of a mobile phone in their bag and probably have no idea about it.

"We hope the person who finds this will take it to the local authorities," said a spokesman for the gendarmerie, France's national police, who planted the mobile-phone-size lump of plastic explosives as part of an exercise to train bomb-sniffing dogs.
"We hope they don't throw it away." he said on Monday. The police are working on the assumption that the explosives, which had no detonator, left Paris aboard a flight between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. on Friday, said the spokesman, Pierre Bouquin.
About 90 planes left the airport during that period for international destinations, including Italy, Japan, Brazil and the United States, as well as various French cities.
No passenger has contacted the French authorities to report discovering the explosives, the police said on Monday. They said there was no chance the material could go off as it was not connected to a detonator.
Bouquin said the explosives, if detonated, "would not be enough to blow up a building" but would probably be enough to blow a door from a car. He said the incident had occurred because of an "error of surveillance for 10 seconds or a little more."
According to accounts by the police, the suitcase was chosen at random after its owner checked it in, and the explosives were inserted by bomb squad gendarmes. A sniffer dog successfully identified the bag, a dark blue suitcase, but a second dog failed to do so, and before anyone noticed the bag had disappeared down a conveyor belt.
On Sunday, as word of the incident spread, Prime Minister Jean-Pierre Raffarin expressed mild concern, and Bouquin said the practice of using real explosives in such tests would stop.
On Monday, Interior Minister Dominique de Villepin weighed in, describing the incident as "totally reprehensible and scandalous" and vowing that those responsible would be punished.

Are the French losing the plot - first they thought it would be OK to test nuclear explosives down here in the South Pacific - now they're hiding actal explosives in unsuspecting people's suitcases. Even the US hasn't managed that sort of idiocy recently ...... well they have .... but we expect it of them ... France ... you should know better ... il est diabolique.

This has been posted before ... but it still makes me laugh.

"Breathlessness" is very normal and brought on by nerves ...and there's a simple exercise that fixes it. For you, and for all those who might search Google for "running out of breath", "breathing control" and "I can't breath", I offer you an opera singer's tested 4-step routine.

Horrible, horrible, horrible - letting the 21st century popstars attack the 1980s classic, "Do they know it's Christmas" and then put it on a CD with inflatable reindeers and computer generated polar bears surrounding a starving African child. Tasteless, tacky, ignorant and offensive. I know, I know ... "It doesn't matter that its crap, its for a good cause" - fair enough but at least make it a decent rendition to get some extra coppers. The following list will change but to give you an idea of the people who are buying this record, have a look at the latest amazon.co.uk, "people who bought this record also bought records by the following..." list

Will Young
Girls Aloud
Ronan Keating
Geri Halliwell
Brian McFadden

Anyone else see the problem here. Does this look like a list created by a group of discerning music fans or a list created by the same twelve year olds that allow Blue, Cheeky Girls and N-Sync etc make it to the top of the charts. If you want to support the cause, buy the original - Band Aid meant something to a lot of people - this song disgraces the memory IMHO.

Toyota have just released these new gadgets. The one of the left is called 'i-foot,' and is designed to help the disabled to get around and to climb up stairs, while the two on the right are called 'i-unit' which has two modes, one that puts the rider more upright, the other in an inclined position that looks more suitable for high speed maneuvers.
nicked from Gizmodo

Here's the gumpf...
The Toyota Group today announced its plans for the performance to be featured in the Toyota Group Pavilion at EXPO 2005 AICHI, JAPAN.
The richly entertaining show, based on the theme “The Dream, Joy and Inspiration of Mobility in the 21st Century,” will introduce the concepts of “Mobility in Harmony with the Earth” and “Achieving the Dream and Joy of Worldwide Movement ” in its presentation of possibilities for a bright and fulfilling future.
Based on these themes, performance content will feature Toyota’s efforts toward achieving “optimal mobility,” “harmony with society” and “meeting the needs of individuals,” and the future technologies and vehicle possibilities that form part of the company’s vision for the society of tomorrow.
The performance will consist of two parts, a Welcome Show and a Main Show. The Welcome Show will feature Toyota Partner Robots, robots developed to embody kindness and intelligence and to assist with human activities. A robot musical band and an entertaining dialogue between the DJ robot and the emcee promise to bring the stage alive.

I'm a huge fan of Google - they seem to be an amazing company to work for and they just do things right first time. They've created the most effective and popular search engine for the internet and more recently created a new email system, gmail which has revolutionised how email is used. The word 'Google' is now a verb for crying out loud! Some stats:

Over four billion Web pages, each an average of 10KB, all fully indexed.
Up to 2,000 PCs in a cluster.
Over 30 clusters.
104 interface languages including Klingon and Tagalog.
One petabyte of data in a cluster -- so much that hard disk error rates of 10-15 begin to be a real issue.
Sustained transfer rates of 2Gbps in a cluster.
An expectation that two machines will fail every day in each of the larger clusters.
No complete system failure since February 2000

It is one of the largest computing projects on the planet, arguably employing more computers than any other single, fully managed system (we're not counting distributed computing projects here), some 200 computer science PhDs, and 600 other computer scientists.

And it is all hidden behind a deceptively simple, white, Web page that contains a single one-line text box and a button that says Google Search.

When Arthur C. Clarke said that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic, he was alluding to the trick of hiding the complexity of the job from the audience, or the user. Nobody hides the complexity of the job better than Google does; so long as we have a connection to the Internet, the Google search page is there day and night, every day of the year, and it is not just there, but it returns results. Google recognises that the returns are not always perfect, and there are still issues there but when you understand the complexity of the system behind that Web page you may be able to forgive the imperfections. You may even agree that what Google achieves is nothing short of sorcery. Read more here...

We've booked a last minute holiday to Vanuatu (pronounced Van-wah-too). On the 1st January 2005 - (only day with seats available - nonone likes flying with a hangover I guess) we fly to the main island Efate and to the capital, Port Vila. Later that day, we're booked to fly on an internal flight to 'Espiritu Santo', a dream location of mine - this is what the Vanuatu tourism site says ....

For SCUBA divers, Espiritu Santo is the Mecca of the South Pacific. It is the final resting place of the 22,000 ton liner turned troopship SS "President Coolidge" and the destroyer USS "Tucker", both victims of US placed mines. Fresh water cave diving is also becoming popular, with the recent discovery of connecting sinkholes and caverns.
For travellers, the beauty of Santo is unmatched. Stunning jewel-like islands lay just a few hundred metres from coconut fringed beaches lined with powdery white sand. Amazing blue water swimming holes are connected by underground caverns and majestic mountains stretching from one end of the island to the other. Awesome ravines shrouded in magnificent tropical rainforest are home to jungle birds and beautiful orchids.

Mmmmmmm ... we're both really looking forward to it. We're staying for two weeks, one in Espiritu Santo and the second back in Efate. After the first week doing as much SCUBA as possible, the second will be spent REALLY spoiling ourselves with a stay in a Garden Bungalow at Le Meridien.

It's going to be really hot .... sweaty, scorching, uncomfortable hot ... I guess we'll just have to spend as much time as possible in and under the water ..... shame ;o)

For those of you who are awaiting the return of Lolly, I have just heard her claim that she will return very soon .... in the meantime here's a 'Word of the Day' to pass the time ...

Word of the day = bruxing (n)

Nervous grinding and clenching of the teeth

Example usage: Her incessant nocturnal bruxing keeps me awake !!

Go to Google

Type Arabian Gulf into the box.

Click on 'I'm Feeling Lucky.'

The Sky's the Limit
Ingenious design. Entrepreneurial moxie. A world-changing vision of the future. The amazing SpaceShipOne has it all

When the first American flew into space in 1961, Burt Rutan was a 17-year-old college freshman. Listening to news of Alan Shepard's groundbreaking suborbital flight on the radio, Rutan was euphoric. He too hoped to go into space one day—and was disappointed that a cautious NASA had allowed the Soviets to beat the U.S. to the prize. "We could have had the first man in space," Rutan recalls, "and we sent a monkey instead."

The possibilities back then seemed limitless, and it was easy for Rutan's generation to imagine they would all get to taste zero-gravity one day. It didn't work out that way. After NASA reached the moon in 1969, its focus shifted to unmanned probes, orbital experiments and a costly low-orbit shuttle system. The imagined future of Everyman as astronaut evaporated. This year, more than four decades after Shepard's flight, only two Americans have made the jump into space from U.S. soil—both launched not by NASA but by Rutan's tiny company, known for build-your-own-airplane kits.

Rutan personally designed their craft, SpaceShipOne, a vehicle as improbable as it is revolutionary...

from Time Magazine

Remarkable new film of wild pandas shows how the rare bears engage in some gymnastics to mark their territory.

Pandas can adopt four distinct postures to deposit scent, with probably the strangest being the handstand. The bear goes upside down on its front paws with the aim of pushing its urine as high up a tree trunk as possible.

Now I'll need an official ruling on this but I'm sure that in the 'who can piss highest up the wall' competition, tactics such as these must be illegal !! ;o)

This poster has been placed all over Wellington on huge billboards. MAdGE (Mothers Against Genetic Engineering in Food and the Environment) launched a billboard campaign in Auckland and Wellington to provoke public debate about the social and cultural ethics of genetic engineering in New Zealand.
The reason ... Fonterra, New Zealand's largest milk company recently purchased the patent rights to large amounts of human DNA from an Australian genetics company. "The mothers of New Zealand would like to know exactly what our milk company are doing with this human DNA. We at MAdGE want an assurance from Fonterra that they will continue to keep our milk GE Free now and in the future and not use human genes in cows to boost milk production." said a spokeperson ..... gets a point across anyway !!

Oh yeah, I was officially promoted today. Hooray! A healthy 10% payrise comes in handy just before Christmas. Thank you very much Deloitte.